Diary of a Broken Heart

As I am writing this, I am in Sioux City, Iowa. My mother and I are on a roadtrip to South Dakota, this was her Mother's Day/ Birthday wish. So, as the dutiful daughter I am, I agreed to come along with her. We are with a tour group. Our bus driver spoke of how his wife passed away from cancer 10 months ago. He's still processing his loss and teared up a bit. He has 6 children most of them are adults now, but 2 are still young, under 13 years old. His story reminded me of the husband of a dancer I knew. This dancer was a fellow troupe member when I studied under my teacher. We danced together for about 8 years. She also taught a class in our studio. She was well known and loved in the North Florida Bellydance community. So, it was a shock to everyone when she suddenly passed at the beginning of the pandemic back in 2020. It happened suddenly. She was sent on a work trip out of town. She collapsed and passed away alone in her hotel. Of course, her husband was devistateded. He said he blamed himself for not going with her. He was always there for here. Every week he brought her to the studio for rehearsals. He'd sit in their car playing video games to pass the time as he waited on practice to finish. He was there during our performances. He was our official photographer. He took some of my favorite photos, he was such a pro. So when she passed, he said he should have been there. It was in no way his fault, he couldn't have known, but the guilt still ate at him. After she passed, he packed his things and their children (3 adorable kitties) and moved back to California. He said he couldn't bare being in Tallahassee anymore. He moved to the city for his wife. She was working on her PhD and she found work in Tallahassee as a marine biologist. Without her, he had no reason to be in Tallahassee anymore. All of this, I found out on Facebook. Without it, I and our troupe likely would not have found out about what happened to her until much later. Upon her passing, his Facebook page became a diary dedicated to her memory. He'd write about his memories of her or dreams that he had of her. Facebook became a lifeline to the life they built together and writing about her helped to process his grief. Members of the dance community would reply, comforting him in any way they could. To this day, he still writes about her keeping her memory alive.